Matbigxemyargonboprilltap is a god.

It takes the form of a large, loving monkey.

Matbigxemyargonboprilltap created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matbigxemyargonboprilltap, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Matbigxemyargonboprilltap, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Matbigxemyargonboprilltap's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Matbigxemyargonboprilltap's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry otters.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always help sick whales.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Matbigxemyargonboprilltap on top of all buildings.

5. Always look after injured sharks.