Metsogwig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tiresome chinchilla.

Metsogwig created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metsogwig, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Metsogwig, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Metsogwig's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Metsogwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

2. Hide if six monkeys approach from the west.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Never sing in holy places.