Lansiglarpjon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional lobster.

Lansiglarpjon created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lansiglarpjon, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Lansiglarpjon, she will laugh at you.

Lansiglarpjon's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Lansiglarpjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Never wear gray corsets.

5. Never think about nebulae.