Tapflapomt is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unselfish crow.

Tapflapomt created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Tapflapomt, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tapflapomt, it will manifest in front of you.

Tapflapomt's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Tapflapomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always share peas with strangers, but never with manatees.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.