Giltifbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, humane goose.

Giltifbarn created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Giltifbarn, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Giltifbarn, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Giltifbarn's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Giltifbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never talk about spacetime near mice while wearing red scarves and balancing four zinc spheres on your neck.

4. Do not prepare pineapples while filled with fear.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.