Bitvildoss is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, two-faced wolf.

Bitvildoss created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Bitvildoss, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bitvildoss, he will turn you into a mole.

Bitvildoss' most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bitvildoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to rats while wearing pink boots.

2. Do not take Bitvildoss' name in vain.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.