Cedmabzak is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciful mole.

Cedmabzak created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedmabzak, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cedmabzak, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cedmabzak's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cedmabzak's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Hide from black geese for they are unholy.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near seals while wearing orange kilts and balancing eight silver spheres on your feet.