Pidwotlatcutfub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid fairy.

Pidwotlatcutfub created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidwotlatcutfub, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pidwotlatcutfub, he will turn you into a goat.

Pidwotlatcutfub's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Pidwotlatcutfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain bowed at dusk.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never bounce near mice.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Do not speak about carrots.