Bisskabmet is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, charitable warg.

Bisskabmet created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Bisskabmet, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bisskabmet, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bisskabmet's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bisskabmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always treat manatees with great respect.