Bastcemvenflan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, egotistical beaver.

Bastcemvenflan created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastcemvenflan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bastcemvenflan, he will not invite you to parties.

Bastcemvenflan's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bastcemvenflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lemons.

2. Feed all hungry dolphins.

3. Never feed lentils to capybaras while wearing purple ear rings.

4. Always count to four before sleeping.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.