Vanomtkan is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, clever weasel.

Vanomtkan created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanomtkan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vanomtkan, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vanomtkan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Vanomtkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vanomtkan.

4. Never jump in the presence of swans.

5. Always pray immersed in water.