Betcippig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic scorpion.

Betcippig created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betcippig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Betcippig, he will turn you into a rock.

Betcippig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Betcippig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

2. Never talk about optics near frogs while wearing brown boots and balancing seven copper spheres on your hands.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

4. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not hurt birds.