Fotcadponyoknart is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful giraffe.

Fotcadponyoknart created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotcadponyoknart, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fotcadponyoknart, he will destroy your home planet.

Fotcadponyoknart's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Fotcadponyoknart's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to eagles while wearing brown scarves.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Do not covet oxen.