Flaghamminmat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, charitable tapir.

Flaghamminmat created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaghamminmat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flaghamminmat, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flaghamminmat's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Flaghamminmat's Holy Commandments

1. Flaghamminmat must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Do not place coconuts upon stone.

4. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Flaghamminmat in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always wear brown.