Haktaflib is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty aardvark.

Haktaflib created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haktaflib, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Haktaflib, it will ignore you.

Haktaflib's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Haktaflib's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never bounce near aardvarks.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Haktaflib.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not cook food in pots.