Spagdissjan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unthinking cobra.

Spagdissjan created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagdissjan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Spagdissjan, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Spagdissjan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Spagdissjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Retreat if three manatees approach from the east.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Spagdissjan.