Larpzenfon Dimbagyar Bunpak is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, caring tortoise.

Larpzenfon Dimbagyar Bunpak created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpzenfon Dimbagyar Bunpak, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Larpzenfon Dimbagyar Bunpak, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Larpzenfon Dimbagyar Bunpak's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Larpzenfon Dimbagyar Bunpak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never sing near ants.

3. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

4. Do not take Larpzenfon Dimbagyar Bunpak's name in vain.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.