Sakbepkem is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, competent crocodile.

Sakbepkem created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sakbepkem, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sakbepkem, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sakbepkem's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Sakbepkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always obey Sakbepkem's priests.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never write about gravity.