Zemfatflow is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient otter.

Zemfatflow created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zemfatflow, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zemfatflow, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Zemfatflow's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Zemfatflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always treat mice with great respect.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never feed cucumbers to dogs while wearing purple boots.

5. Never eat bark.