Wotpakpad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unselfish turtle.

Wotpakpad created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotpakpad, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wotpakpad, it will come to you in dreams.

Wotpakpad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Wotpakpad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Put Wotpakpad first in all things.

5. Never pour water over plants.