Lanfitrull is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, boastful cobra.

Lanfitrull created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanfitrull, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lanfitrull, it will turn you into a tree.

Lanfitrull's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Lanfitrull's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Hide if nine turtles approach from the west.

5. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.