Godzakdin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unselfish aardvark.

Godzakdin created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godzakdin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Godzakdin, she will come to you in dreams.

Godzakdin's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Godzakdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs blue.

2. Never sit near goats.

3. Always help sick aardvarks.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Put Godzakdin first in all things.