Mapfengab is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciful human.

Mapfengab created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapfengab, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mapfengab, she will turn you into a frog.

Mapfengab's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Mapfengab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Never talk about special relativity near badgers while wearing violet skirts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your face.

4. Swans are not to be trusted.

5. Always obey Mapfengab's priests.