Garwadstafkik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful goblin.

Garwadstafkik created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Garwadstafkik, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Garwadstafkik, she will turn you into a rock.

Garwadstafkik's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Garwadstafkik's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Do not wear violet clothing.

4. Do not take Garwadstafkik's name in vain.

5. Do not shave your feet.