Jadbunlan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, happy alligator.

Jadbunlan created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadbunlan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jadbunlan, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jadbunlan's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Jadbunlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Jadbunlan's name in vain.

2. Always obey Jadbunlan's priests.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not eat nuts.