Didcamarn is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-confident walrus.

Didcamarn created the solar system eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Didcamarn, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Didcamarn, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Didcamarn's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Didcamarn's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Hide if eight ants approach from the north.

5. Do not shave your face.