Wonpopwik is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unsympathetic dog.

Wonpopwik created a strange quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wonpopwik, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wonpopwik, it will turn you into a plant.

Wonpopwik's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Wonpopwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick moths.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Wonpopwik in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.