Flannartvil is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty eagle.

Flannartvil created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flannartvil, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flannartvil, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flannartvil's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Flannartvil's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never hurt great tits.

5. Always pray immersed in water.