Larptiphigxin is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable jaguar.

Larptiphigxin created gold two years ago.

If you believe in Larptiphigxin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larptiphigxin, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Larptiphigxin's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Larptiphigxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always obey Larptiphigxin's priests.

5. Never eat green fruit.