Fedfebkar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful hyena.

Fedfebkar created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fedfebkar, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fedfebkar, she will laugh at you.

Fedfebkar's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fedfebkar's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Learn three new languages a year.