Bedwapripjinrigbimkon is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, idiotic lizard.

Bedwapripjinrigbimkon created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedwapripjinrigbimkon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bedwapripjinrigbimkon, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bedwapripjinrigbimkon's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bedwapripjinrigbimkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never paint your head gray.