Cedlopkon is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, annoying pig.

Cedlopkon created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedlopkon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cedlopkon, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cedlopkon's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cedlopkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Cedlopkon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Never paint your hands red.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.