Zenhadhom Wotfenflat is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, annoying monkey.

Zenhadhom Wotfenflat created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zenhadhom Wotfenflat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zenhadhom Wotfenflat, it will think nothing of it.

Zenhadhom Wotfenflat's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zenhadhom Wotfenflat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not speak about bread.

3. Never feed lots of rice to cats while wearing white ear rings.

4. Always treat bats with great respect.

5. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.