Bestflylapmidwegfod is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, pitiless dugong.

Bestflylapmidwegfod created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestflylapmidwegfod, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bestflylapmidwegfod, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bestflylapmidwegfod's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bestflylapmidwegfod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Never hurt otters.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Erect four iron sculptures of Bestflylapmidwegfod on top of important buildings.

5. Never feed grapes to geese while wearing turquoise scarves.