Miscarvag Cuthivgun Bafwipwee is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, omnipotent mongoose.

Miscarvag Cuthivgun Bafwipwee created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Miscarvag Cuthivgun Bafwipwee, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Miscarvag Cuthivgun Bafwipwee, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Miscarvag Cuthivgun Bafwipwee's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Miscarvag Cuthivgun Bafwipwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Miscarvag Cuthivgun Bafwipwee's priests.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Retreat if eight badgers approach from the south.

4. Never laugh in the presence of frogs.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.