Quaftailtun is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying bat.

Quaftailtun created the Black Eye Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Quaftailtun, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quaftailtun, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quaftailtun's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Quaftailtun's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Never feed peas to frogs while wearing skirts.

4. Quaftailtun loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.