Tarpfemgigboglakmisgadflat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, duplicitous dragon.

Tarpfemgigboglakmisgadflat created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfemgigboglakmisgadflat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tarpfemgigboglakmisgadflat, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tarpfemgigboglakmisgadflat's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tarpfemgigboglakmisgadflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always help sharks.