Farnyimarm Wikbamstandapzan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unthoughtful troll.

Farnyimarm Wikbamstandapzan created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnyimarm Wikbamstandapzan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Farnyimarm Wikbamstandapzan, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Farnyimarm Wikbamstandapzan's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Farnyimarm Wikbamstandapzan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Pray only in darkness.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not speak about coconuts.