Sakpakxuckcid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane coyote.

Sakpakxuckcid created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Sakpakxuckcid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sakpakxuckcid, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sakpakxuckcid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Sakpakxuckcid's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never pour water over plants.