Zagtoning is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-knowing salamander.

Zagtoning created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtoning, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zagtoning, she will turn you into a sheep.

Zagtoning's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Zagtoning's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.

2. Always help sick swans.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Pray only in shadows.