Queegtargnar is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, loving capybara.

Queegtargnar created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegtargnar, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Queegtargnar, it will remove you from existence.

Queegtargnar's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Queegtargnar's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Queegtargnar three times a day.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not kill ants.

5. Never wear white trousers.