Quagfemhig is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humorless gnu.

Quagfemhig created the world eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagfemhig, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quagfemhig, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Quagfemhig's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quagfemhig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five eagles approach from the west.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always help badgers.