Flowquafdod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, tiresome wasp.

Flowquafdod created the Black Eye Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Flowquafdod, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flowquafdod, he will turn you into a mouse.

Flowquafdod's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Flowquafdod's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help cats.