Gamstanpig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, duplicitous gnu.

Gamstanpig created silver seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gamstanpig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gamstanpig, she will turn you into a rock.

Gamstanpig's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Gamstanpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix coconuts with water.

2. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

3. Hide if four foxes approach from the east.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Always pray immersed in water.