Sasstragcud Ratcamstig Sistithun is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic pig.

Sasstragcud Ratcamstig Sistithun created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sasstragcud Ratcamstig Sistithun, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sasstragcud Ratcamstig Sistithun, it will refuse to believe in you.

Sasstragcud Ratcamstig Sistithun's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Sasstragcud Ratcamstig Sistithun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

4. Never talk about eagles.

5. Run away if nine manatees approach from the south.