Flabcubtunfar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, caring fish.

Flabcubtunfar created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabcubtunfar, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Flabcubtunfar, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Flabcubtunfar's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flabcubtunfar's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Retreat if nine cats approach from the west.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Never feed lots of bananas to hamsters while wearing white scarves.

5. Do not kill ducks.