Bethuging Cissbadxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witty raven.

Bethuging Cissbadxuc created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bethuging Cissbadxuc, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bethuging Cissbadxuc, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bethuging Cissbadxuc's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bethuging Cissbadxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always wear white.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. You must love Bethuging Cissbadxuc.