Lapveddut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty goat.

Lapveddut created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapveddut, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lapveddut, she will destroy your home planet.

Lapveddut's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Lapveddut's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Lapveddut three times a day.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near tapirs while wearing brown jumpers and balancing nine copper spheres on your arms.

4. Lapveddut loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.