Xemneg is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, quiet lobster.

Xemneg created the Sombrero Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Xemneg, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xemneg, she will be very sad.

Xemneg's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Xemneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Always help frogs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never feed garlic to dolphins while wearing green shoes.

5. Pray towards the west.