Zimwadlak is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omniscient jaguar.

Zimwadlak created the Milkyway six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimwadlak, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zimwadlak, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Zimwadlak's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Zimwadlak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a giant red sculpture of Zimwadlak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not kill great tits.

4. Never eat onions.

5. Do not keep seven geese in a large pit.