Volvonkbad is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, thoughtless armadillo.

Volvonkbad created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volvonkbad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Volvonkbad, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Volvonkbad's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Volvonkbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple ear rings on sacred days.

2. Do not hurt tapirs.

3. Never cross rivers at dusk.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Do not skip in public.