Hadgubrip is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, selfish elephant.

Hadgubrip created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadgubrip, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hadgubrip, he will turn you into a tree.

Hadgubrip's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Hadgubrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Hadgubrip on top of all buildings.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.